8th-13th December 2007 - Viva Las Vegas

Talk to anyone who’s been there, read as many books about it as you can lay hands on and watch all the TV travel features and you’re still not ready for Las Vegas. It’s a place like no other; a 24 hour playground where anything is available, whenever you want it and in bucketfuls. A hedonistic paradise on a massive scale where not one dollar has been spared in making the first-time visitor’s mouth drop open in amazement. The same probably applies to the second, third, fourth-time visitors and beyond too. Vegas is a living entity that slowly renews itself as time goes on. Older hotels are pulled down and replaced with even grander multi-billion dollar themed pleasure domes containing designer shops, theatres, restaurants and bars. There are nightclubs, swimming pools, exotic animals and much more, and certainly not forgetting Casinos. I can’t begin to adequately describe the place here, only really what we got up to during our brief stay.

Of course like just about anywhere else in the world there are some who won’t find it at all to their taste, but unless you have compelling religious or financial reasons not to, I’d sincerely urge everyone to visit Las Vegas at least once before passing judgement.

This trip had been masterminded and expertly planned by Rollie who from the moment we decided this was the trip for us twelve months ago, had spent hours making sure everything from booking the flights, hotels, transfers and shows was as smoothly efficient as if carried out by a German!

And so Lynda, me, Rowena, Rollie and two debutantes to these pages – Sue & Martin - boarded a Virgin Atlantic 747 full of Ricky Hatton supporters and left Gatwick bound for LAS – McCarran International Airport. Sue & Martin are very close friends of R&R’s but we’d only really met them a few times before the holiday. Enough times though to know that we were going to enjoy their company on this trip, a premonition that turned out to be spot-on.

Because Mr Hatton was fighting in Vegas at the MGM Grand that night, our travelling companions were primarily fight fans heading either to the arena itself or one of the hotel big screens showing the event live. No surprise then that roughly halfway into the flight, the crew were forced to close the bar as they were in real danger of having no alcohol to serve on the return leg.

We arrived at McCarran feeling surprisingly refreshed and in high spirits. It was after all only lunch time and although the others had been to Vegas before on more than one occasion, Lynda and me were Sin City virgins and as such were like kids at Christmas in our anticipation of what was to come. After persuading the courtesy coach driver that (a) We had booked him to take us to Treasure Island, and (b) we weren’t real pirates, we and all our luggage were safely aboard and a few minutes later after much 'oohing' and 'aahing' at the hotels and casinos we passed on the way, we were standing outside and admiring our home for the next four nights.



The check-in formalities complete, we arranged to settle in and then meet a bit later on for a drink before dinner. Although the rooms weren’t the ‘King Size’ that we’d booked, we couldn’t have been more pleased with the enormous twins we were allocated instead. It seems that the weekend we arrived was not only a pugilism-fest, courtesy of the Hatton fight, but it also coincided with Vegas hosting the US National Rodeo finals. This explained the vast number of cowboys milling in and around the hotel, which was one of the designated Stetson friendly hotels for the duration of the event. It also explained why rooms were being chopped and changed. Our four travelling companions were delighted with this turn-up, all of them being keen riders (although I don’t think any of them have bucked a bronco) and had not long come back from a riding holiday in Montana. They immediately regretted not bringing their Stetsons; I regretted not bringing chewing tobacco.

Our room was big enough and contained enough double beds for Lynda and me to have slept in a different configuration for each night of our stay!! We should have smuggled you onto the plane Amy, there’d certainly have been enough bed space for you.



Totally confused by the time difference but not caring about it at all, we checked into our extremely comfortable rooms, unpacked, eventually worked out how to use the safe, showered and changed then re-convened for the first Margarita of the trip. ‘TI’ has about six restaurants, two night clubs a massive theatre and loads of other things including probably a rocket launch pad. One of its noted eateries is ‘La Isla’ – top of the range Mexican food. Perfect for helping the Margaritas go down. A few drinks and a meal just finished us off. Little surprise really as it was around 5am for our bodies, which were wearily flung into one of our many beds. Food and drink are a very important part of the Las Vegas experience, certainly a very important part of our Las Vegas experience and we started as we meant to carry on.

The next morning, fit and only slightly fuzzy, we woke to a bright, crisp morning and flung back the curtains to take in the unique view. It’s not beautiful in the rolling hills or seaside way, but it’s impressive nonetheless. A little bit spoilt by the large number of cranes busily engaged in building new multi-billion dollar pleasure palaces but for all that it’s a view like no other.


This being Sunday morning we’d arranged a slightly later start, fuelled by the hotel’s Champagne Brunch and a marvellous choice it was too. $20 for the brunch and champagne, $17 for the brunch on its own. The cashier unreasonably however refused let us just drink champagne for $3 so we stumped up the twenties and boy was it worth it. It’s not often any of us turn down champers but at eleven in the morning we had to admit defeat after four glasses and so reluctantly turned the waiter away. We had these super breakfasts every morning (minus the champers), the favourite being at Wynn’s across the road - superb. Not only are they great value but we also filled up so well that we didn’t want a lunch, leaving us with more time for sightseeing and more money for beer.





We’d decided that we’d really just spend the days looking at the different hotels, the evenings eating and drinking and a show, then at some point near the end of the stay fit in a bit of shopping. Vegas, for us anyway, has an almost unreal quality to it. We felt as if we were in a giant film set, an adult Disneyland. That’s not for one second being critical though as everything is done very well and everywhere is spotlessly clean. The hotels, casinos and boulevards may not be to your taste but you can’t fault the complete customer orientation of the whole place. Yes it’s designed to take your money, it doesn’t pretend otherwise but it makes sure that you’re supremely comfortable, impressed and well fed and watered while it does it.

The highlights of Sunday included the Venetian, a $1.5 billion dream, themed on the canals of Venice, complete with authentic Gondoliers, The MGM Grand, where the fight had been the previous evening, The Luxor – pyramids, Anubis, Sphinx naturally, and The Hard Rock Hotel with its fantastic collection of rock memorabilia. The hotels were amazingly impressive and soon Rollie and I were deep in conversation pondering how we could replicate one at home using MDF and ‘No Nails’. This is still a work in progress. The biggest kick though was the Roller Coaster at ‘New York, New York’. Rollie had been dead keen to have a go even before we left the UK. Lynda was up for it too, as was Sue. I’m not noted for my love of looping the loop but thought ‘what the heck’. Rowena and Martin – wimps – were left to hold coats, bags, glasses, false teeth, etc while the rest of us went for it. Bloody hell!! The ride was pretty hairy, especially that pull up the first big climb, but it was great fun and Sue screamed out a few words I’d never heard before so it was educational too.



That night we wondered up to Fremont Street for its music and lights extravaganza. A fine meal washed down with equally fine Margaritas at Tony Roma’s first, then out into the street to gaze up at the incredible computer generated canopy that covers the street and that on the hour flashes gigantic images to a big, loud soundtrack. We finished the evening off with a whiz around the Beatles themed bar in The Mirage, then shivered in front of the hotel’s incredible volcanic eruption – yes that’s right, a volcano that erupts on the hour – before falling back into TI.


We kicked the next day’s tour off with a look around the inside of the Venetian. Amy had stayed there earlier in the year mainly because it stages ‘Phantom’ – her favourite show. She’d told us how amazing it is but we’d no idea though until we saw it for ourselves. St Mark’s Square, blue skies, Italian arias sung by Gondoliers as they punted romantic couples through the Grand Canal. You do have to remind yourself you’re really in the middle of a hotel in America. From there we dropped in at the Bellagio, famous for its incredible fountains whose nighttime displays set to music are spectacular. Caesar’s Palace followed and then Paris. We’d not long left Venice and we were now taking photos of the Arc De Triomphe and Eiffel Tower, the latter we went to the top of for some spectacular views of the strip and beyond. We then wondered around the Planet Hollywood Hotel before going back to TI. That evening Lynda & I had tickets for Cirque Du Soleil’s show ‘Mystere’ whilst the others were off to a Beatles Tribute Show at the Sahara. Lynda and me tried another Amy recommendation first for dinner – the Bellagio buffet. We weren’t disappointed; they have everything on offer and at a very reasonable price. I did have a good go at eating everything but after the third visit my trousers couldn’t take any more. Back to TI via the exotic car display at Caesar’s and settled in to our seats for the show. A quick word about the Theatre. Why do Americans tolerate our West End? We love the London theatres but there’s no escaping the fact that the seats are ridiculously tiny, the legroom virtually non-existent and the proximity to your neighbour bordering on intimate. The bars are stupidly small and packed and the whole thing woefully lacks air conditioning. Compare this to our Vegas experience. Comfort and dimensions of an armchair, independent reclining backs, legroom that would please most basketball players and the need for a mobile phone if you want to speak to the person in the next seat. Air conditioning, perfect views and totally audible sound system topped off the experience. I’d have even sat through three hours of Celine Dion in those circumstances. The show by the way was staggering. The talent of the performers was awe inspiring and even we with the Bellagio’s buffet bubbling away inside our tummies watched in complete comfort.

Tuesday started with a monorail trip to mop up some of the hotels we’d not yet seen properly, including Wynn’s. That was followed by a trip – chauffeur driven – to a nearby retail outlet centre. We managed to grab some real bargains, particularly in Timberland before making the trip back to TI. Our car was a Lincoln Escalade; the closest thing to which we have in the UK is Mount Snowdon. This thing is massive, has a 6.2 litre engine and is like being driven around in your favourite sofa. So impressed were we that we booked it to ferry us to and from that night’s treat – dinner at the Stratosphere. Towering over Vegas and commanding the city’s best views, the Stratosphere is crowned by the Top of the World restaurant, where we were eating. The restaurant revolves very gently, a complete revolution taking around ninety minutes giving diners stunning 360 degree views of the city. We arrived and were whisked up to the top in the high-speed lift during which the lift attendant gave us stats on the tower, none of which I can remember. Go yourself if you want to know how tall it is, etc. We kicked off with a marvellous cocktail each and then were paged to our table. The food, service, wine, company and views were fantastic. It was a real experience to remember, our only mistake being that we ordered far too much food. A twenty-ounce steak is huge, trust me.

From there we were chauffeured to Mirage where we hit the Revolution nightclub. The 60s detail was spot-on, even down to the Go-go dancers in the shortest of dresses and white boots gyrating on the bar. The only thing we could fault it for was the band they had on. Not a bad band, but totally not in keeping. Didn’t spoil anything though, it was still a great night.

The next day was our last and so we really whizzed round a few places in the short time left before we had to head off to the airport. We just had time to see the wonderful lions, tigers, leopards and dolphins at the Mirage. Fortunately they don’t keep them all in the same pen as not only would that be very silly, it would also prove quite messy. In a scrap between that lot I can see the dolphins wouldn’t come out too well at all, despite their incredible intelligence and supreme ‘aah’ factor – especially the baby Sgt Pepper, they lack large pointy teeth and razor sharp claws.

At McCarran we had a farewell row with the check-in staff who due to overbooking wanted to sit three of us in the baggage hold, two on the flight deck and one in the outside loo. Roland was magnificently British and his very impressive authoritativeness, and my menacing scowls ensured we all got to sit in the plane and all together. Not before though security was called - loads of guns it must be said for six quite non-argumentative tourists - and we were threatened with being kicked off the flight.

The trip was a triumph. We’d had a great time, seen some brilliant things, drank some splendid cocktails, lost thirty quid on the slots and were almost deported. It’ll take some doing to top that mate! Thanks Rowena, Rollie, Sue & Martin for the company and the laughs and a special thank you to Rollie who did a fantastic job of putting the whole trip together with ‘No Nails’ and MDF.