23rd - 27th July. Madrid Again

Ah yes, Madrid again. Our second flight into Barajas Airport in two months but a very different trip this time. Not for a family visit on this occasion as ironically the Spanish branch of the family (5/6ths of it anyway) were in England, still enjoying their very long summer holiday.

Unfortunately though work demands on Ana meant she had to 'pop' back to the Spanish capital for a few days, and she wondered if Lynda and I fancied making the trip with her. We didn't need asking twice, hence the three of us taking off on the Monday from a rain-soaked, recently flooded Luton Airport and touching down bang on time on a warm and bright Madrid morning.

We told Ana not to hang around at the airport so having first agreed on a sophisticated communication system involving text messages, she scurried off to her Monday morning team meeting at her office in the city centre. Meanwhile we collected the luggage and by a combination of tube and bus made it home.

We spent day one getting a few domestics sorted out, taking advantage of Frank's beer supplies and generally not doing much at all. We'd had a 3am alarm call so we were using our remaining energy stocks wisely. Day one also saw the first of a series of daytime phone calls that I answered, and in my less than perfect Spanish responded to by telling the caller I didn't speak the language so go away.

In the evening we took the train to Principe Pio where we met Ana and whizzed round the desgner shops at this lovely mall. She suggested that for dinner we tried one of the family's favourite treats - a kebab back at home. We'd heard a lot about these so jumped at the chance of making our Spanish kebab debut. This place is basic, but it is very clean, the staff extremely pleasant, the prices very low and the food superb! In fact I was the only one to try the kebab as the girls went for something called a 'pide'; a kind of folded-up pizza not unlike a calzone. I caused eyebrows to be raised by eating my kebab with a knife and fork.

I've been told since by Frank that the correct method, as practised by Carla & Andi, is in fact to pull the kebab over the head like a balaclava and rub it around the face until eventually most of it finds its way into the mouth. I'll know for next time. Ana made the mistake (from my point of view) of telling the girls on the phone that night that I don't know how to eat one and they've ribbed me mercilessly since!!

The next day we all went into Madrid together. Ana shot off to work and we found a 'MadridVision' bus stop, hopped on an open-topped variety and bought a two day ticket. We were going to 'tourist' very hard.

It was great travelling leisurely around the city in (surprisingly) free-flowing traffic and beautiful sunshine. Being upstairs meant we had the benefit of a lovely breeze so what with all that, and not being at work we were feeling pretty good about life.

The bus has two routes; old and new Madrid. We were on the new circuit that takes in Santiago Bernabeu - the Real Madrid ground to non believers, the financial area and the designer shops. It's a really great way to see the city and pick up a tan at the same time. Rumbling stomachs eventually made us hop off for lunch in Plaza Mayor, and a splendid one it was too. Back on the bus for a bit of the 'old' Madrid route and then it was time to meet up with Ana.

She dived into the role of tour guide with relish and walked us all over the city, pausing only for a brilliant seafood dinner at a place called 'Ribeiro Do Mino', which according to the New York Times is '...probably the liveliest seafood eating spot in Madrid..' We had an enormous and delicious feast washed down with wine for not a lot of Euros. We'd ordered the meal 'for two', which not even the three of us could finish. People were still pouring in at midnight looking for tables. Go to this place !!!!!

We walked dinner off with an ice cream around the very lively Chueca area of the city before almost fainting with fatigue, we hailed a cab and went home to bed.

Wednesday was once again spent hopping on and off the tourist bus, shopping and eating. 'Naturbier' is a lovely bar / eatery in Palza Santa Ana. It brews its own beer and serves delicious food. We sat (two days on the trot) at an outside table and watched the world go by. Very recommended.

By Thursday the weather was warming up even more so we decided to spend the day at home, alternating between bouts of sunbathing and a few minor domestic chores, as well as fending off phone calls from that same persistent caller.

That evening Ana came home and we walked into town for dinner. She took us to another family favourite eatery in a nearby park. Sitting in the warm open air, drinking freezing cold beer, eating the most delicious food, just chatting and laughing we were a million miles away from work and its associated crap. I think if anyone had offered to wave a magic wand that night we'd have happily stayed in Madrid for a long, long time.

Friday was our last day - and hot - but we werent going home till late. We went into the city with Ana and visited her office. She's a designer for a media company and runs a team of designers that turn out magazines, annual reports and just about anything you can think of. Ana introduced us to her colleagues and showed us Madrid from the top of her building. It certainly has splendid views of the city.

We said ta-ta and nipped to 'El Corte Ingles', the most famous Department store chain in Spain. They're everywhere, in Madrid alone there must be twenty of them. We were looking for a present for Frank & Ana and we knew if we couldn't get it there it probably doesn't exist! A bit more sightseeing and eating (excellent pay once, eat everything buffet) then met up with Ana, nipped home to pack and then the three of us headed to Barajas.

Our flight was spot on and we landed on an almost balmy evening in Luton, delighted that we'd brought a bit of the sunshine back home with us.

Thanks Ana for looking after us so well and for showing us some lovely sights and introducing us to some wonderful restaurants. You are safe in the knowledge that if you ever get fed up working in the media you would make a fantastic city guide.

Oh yes, the phone calls. That turned out to be Ana's insurance company trying to arrange to fix their broken freezer. Come on, would you have understood that?

22nd June – 1st July 2007. Ole meets Ile De Re - Gosh !

It's an annual tradition that at some point in their vast summer break the Spanish wing of the family, with Lynda and I (and occasionally Mum) head for somewhere in Europe for a fantastic week-long holiday together. Previous destinations include Honfleur, Pickering and even Sheringham (thanks Malc) all of which have been an Anglo-Spanish fusion of great fun, great food (quality & quantity) and very enjoyable sight-seeing. We always love seeing Frank, Ana and the kids - Pablo, Sofi, Carla & Andrea any time, but these holidays together are really special, and just another great way of staying close and in-touch. We have to hold our hands up and admit that forward planning has not normally been one our strong points in putting these holidays together (not that any of our breaks have been less enjoyable for it) but this year we had excelled, and by mid-February we'd not only already decided on a destination but had tracked down the right house and booked it all up. This year the fiesta would be at 'Flocon De Sable', a splendid property on Ile De Re, a tiny island just off France's Atlantic coast. Lynda and me would drive down from the UK, Frank, Ana and the kids would drive up from Spain stopping at Ile De Re en-route to the UK. They've not long bought a new very swish and la-di-da beast of a Nissan four wheel drive to replace their ever faithful but slowly collapsing people carrier. This drive up was going to be a breeze for them.

Lynda and I have been really lucky in having visited some great places together on our travels and fortunately our latest destination has to be up there with the best of them. If you’re looking for quietly understated quality in a chic St Tropez-esque setting, then France’s Ile De Re is for you. Our first visit but I suspect not our last. Faded enough to be charming and not at all gaudy or overly commercial, Ile De Re sits just off the West coast by La Rochelle and is connected to the mainland by a recently built wonder bridge. Mind you at 16 Euros for a return crossing it would need to be a pretty spectacular one!

That Bridge

We set off for Dover bright and early on the Friday morning in torrential rain. Breakfast courtesy of Seafrance was a splendid and extremely welcome affair, and we felt no guilt at all having a 'full English' on a French boat. The rain we'd had in the UK just about set the tone for the whole journey actually as we had more of the same from Calais through to our first stop at Blois. We'd have liked to see a bit more of Blois as we literally only had 10 minutes there before rain stopped play and we headed west. One tip for those driving through France with their entire music collection loaded onto their iPod - the iTrip doesn't work in France and French radio is pretty rubbish. Bring some CDs or whatever your car plays if you're hoping for a proper road trip experience.

First holiday beer after arriving at Blois, and the town's Chateau

The rain continued the next day en-route to meet Frank, Ana and the kids just outside La Rochelle, and then mercifully eased off for a while, replaced instead by some very cloudy sunshine. After a lovely reunion lunch together we provisioned at Carrefour and then crossed over to the Island.

Our home for the week was a great house called Flocon De Sable. The extremely friendly and helpful owners Ian and Isabelle Dean have made a great job of putting together a really well equipped, comfortable and stylish property that blends in perfectly with the look and feel of the island. As always unpacking was a hasty business, followed by our first meal at the house, washed down with some excellent wine. We went to bed very tired, very full and very content, and despite the weather we were all eagerly anticipating our first dip in the superb 12m x 6m pool.

The first full day there was spent wandering through the local ‘flea market’ as we headed down to the beach with a very large picnic in tow. We were staying at La Noue, a tiny hamlet with a small square bordered by the typical collection of bars, patisserie, tabac, etc you’d expect to find in just about any small French village. Having built enough sand castles and finished off the picnic we decided it was time to give the pool a go. That afternoon was so much fun. Isabelle had offered us the use of all the inflatable toys belonging to their kids Alex & Emilie and our bunch didn’t need to be asked twice. Within seconds the pool was a thrashing maelstrom of kids, adults, rubber rings, lilos, snorkels and best of all a huge whale that was immediately christened ‘Shamu’.

Shamu and trainers !

We spent the next few days loaded into Frank & Ana’s vast 4-wheel drive, gently touring the island’s wonderful villages, ports, markets and lighthouses. Every town has something worth calling in for – Le Bois Plage, Ars-en-Re (yeah we had a lot of mileage from the Arse joke), St Martin, La Flotte, La Couarde and others. The island’s only 5kms wide by 30kms long but still has loads to see and do. Despite its small size there are amazingly over 100kms of cycle paths on the island and you can rent bikes from just about anywhere. We never actually managed it but the intention was always there. We saw churches, climbed lighthouses, lay on beaches and had lovely lunches. We ate ice creams, swallowed oysters, drank beers and even looked at the skulls of elephants and tortoises. There is no shortage of things to keep you occupied on Ile De Re.

Oysters, fun and a typical Ile De Re street

Two rituals quickly developed during the holiday; playing ‘Uno’ – never, but never play cards with Carla or Andi, they cheat so much – and watching a DVD at some point after dinner and before bed. The pick of the DVDs was undoubtedly ‘Napoleon Dynamite’. Not just a brilliantly funny film, but one that provided us with no end of material to keep us laughing for the rest of the holiday. “Bow to your sensei”, "Roundhouse kick to the face" and many other quotes. We made the most of our music too (iPod docking station thankfully does work ok in France) and even managed to fit in a dance contest one night, organised by the girls but entered into enthusiastically by the grown-ups. Well, I really enjoyed myself!!

Midweek we went on a boat ride from St Martin out to sea which took us around Fort Boyard (remember the programme with Melinda Messenger that had teams running around doing various stupid tasks?) which is an amazing place stuck out on its own in the Atlantic. It’s a Napoleonic (sadly not as funny as Dynamite) construction, originally intended as a fort but quickly became obsolete from a military point of view before it was even finished and was eventually used as a prison. Couldn’t land there unfortunately as it’s used for a similarly silly programme for French TV and they have it shut-off as a consequence. From the fort we went over to Ile D’Aix, which is even quieter, smaller and traditional than Ile De Re. Definitely unspoilt and equally definitely a great picnic spot. The return trip included calling into La Rochelle, and although we only stopped for 15 minutes to drop off and collect passengers, we saw enough to convince us it was worth visiting on our way home.

Fort Boyard and one of La Rochelle's pretty harbours

A milestone event took place on the Saturday – Pablo became a teenager. We made sure we had cakes, opened presents & cards and sang ‘happy birthday’ the night before as we were up and away on the Saturday for the long haul to Blighty. The sun had decided to come out in force as we spent a really enjoyable hour or so at La Rochelle, then headed up to our overnight stop at Orleans. This was mine and Lynda’s first visit but not Frank and Ana’s. Another wonderful place. Mediaeval streets and a perfect cathedral blended with pavement cafes and restaurants packed full of young affluent French. We had a lovely couple of hours strolling, taking photos and enjoying the atmosphere.

Pancakes and relaxing - a splendid meal at Ars en Re

‘Formule 1’ provided our overnight accommodation and the next morning we drove the last 200 odd miles to Calais, then onto the ferry and home. Mine and Lynda’s holiday is over but the Spaniards are just beginning the second phase of theirs with Mum for the summer.

I think England is that way?

A huge thank you from Lynda and me to Frank, Ana, Pablo, Sophie, Carla & Andrea for a brilliant break. We laughed so much and ate even more. We saw some lovely things and visited some beautiful places - can’t wait to see all the photos. The sun would have been nice but the holiday didn’t suffer for lack of it. Thanks too to Ian & Isabelle for their hospitality.

Finally, special thank yous must go to Napoleon, Kipling, Rico, Rex and all the others, and also to Shamu & St Homard for making what was already a great laugh even better.

"What did you do in the vacation Napoleon?"

"Me and my Uncle went hunting Wolverines".

2nd - 4th June 2007. Five Go Mad In Padstow !

Neither Lynda or I need much of an excuse to eat and drink well, but we're always grateful when a genuine reason comes our way. Padstow in Cornwall, in particular Rick Stein's Seafood Restaurant had been kicking around as a suggestion for a trip for at least the last twelve months. Rowena and Rollie - our long standing very close friends and neighbours - had originally suggested a weekend visit there as a good idea for them, us and Elaine - another very close and old friend. Diaries clashed for a large part of 2006 and so we thought a long-range booking, which coincided with Rowena's birthday (I'm sure she was 38 last year?!) would be best. A great excuse, a great suggestion. Amazing though how quickly it came around.

R&R arrived at our place bright and early'ish on the Saturday morning in their 4WD, into which we slung our bags, Elaine and yet more drink, then hit the road heading South West. We'd got a rough idea of what we wanted to do during the weekend but we took advantage of the first part of the five hour trip to sort out the detail. The weather forecast wasn't good for Cornwall, but despite that and the fact that the forecast for home was for high temperatures and endless sunshine, we were in extremely high spirits and only about ten minutes into the journey we'd decided on an itinerary and were laying into the enormous stash of sweeties we'd amassed between us.

After a couple of hours driving we broke up the journey briefly for a wee stop and then again a bit further on at Exeter Services for a spot of lunch, courtesy of M&S. Fully refreshed we cruised through the last leg of the journey into Padstow, and to the Cross House Hotel, home for the next two nights. Very nice place and people I have to say. The rooms are large and nicely furnished - well done Rowena for picking it out. Some seriously quick unpacking was followed by a stroll around Padstow. It's a lovely place, sitting very comfortably on the Camel Estuary. None of us had appreciated the extent of Mr Stein's influence on the town - an hotel, a restaurant, a cafe, a chip shop, a patisserie, a gift shop, a cookery school and a Deli all bear the Stein name and logo. Not that his empire in any way (from our point of view anyway) detracts from the town at all. In fact the various enterprises fit in aesthetically as well as any other in the town, and must also be like a magnet for visitors to Padstow, whose economy in turn must do very well thank you as a consequence.

After a short stroll we felt we really ought to try some of the local cider and so fell into the Golden Lion Inn for some Addlestone's - apparently locally brewed. The first pint goes to the head, the second straight to the legs which fortunately still managed to get us up the hill and back to the hotel. A buff up in the shower and then into R&R's room for a bottle of something fizzy and we were fit for anything.

Rick Stein's Seafood Restaurant was no disappointment. It felt special as soon as we walked in; very simply but tastefully decorated with extremely polite, friendly and attentative staff. We were seated at a lovely large round table and we all licked our lips as we looked over the menu with the help of some very large gins & tonics. We made our choices and sat back and enjoyed a real gastronomic treat, washed down with some excellent wine. As we were pondering what to have for dessert a shocked Lynda's eyes widened, she pointed across the room and said 'There he is'. The man himself had just walked in, and fair play to him he walked the floor, chatted with the punters and posed for photos. He seemed to be a genuinely nice, modest and friendly bloke. His passion for food and cooking comes across in the quality of the restaurant and the attitude of his staff. He chatted about Chalky and narrow boats, posed with us for some pics and signed lots of autographs - thanks Rick, you made our night.

Sunday - Rowena's birthday. Fantastic breakfast at the hotel and a rousing rendition of 'Happy Birthday' while Rowena opened her cards and presents. We resisted the urge to give her the bumps and instead we jumped in the car and drove through thick fog and many diversions to the Eden Project just outside St Austell. Great place; the concept, the plants and the architecture all combing to make a wonderful day out. Great pasties too - we had our first of the break there and they, together with the home-made chips and lemonade went down very, very well. Sadly Rowena refused point blank to have a ride on the zip line, much to our disappointment.

Back to Padstow for tea and birthday cake. Mmmmm, what a cake. Earlier in the week Rollie had scoured the kitchen and garage for ingredients and tools and put together the most marvelous chocolate cake. Another quick scrub-up, another bottle of fizz and then we hit the harbour. What started as 'a quick drink before finding a somewhere for a snack' ended up in a fairly drunken and very boisterous evening in the Harbour Inn, which involved loads of cider, Cornish Cream Stout, huge amounts of food, some locals, some tourists and the bar staff. Lynda had by this time discovered some hilarious uses for the sticker she'd got at the Eden Project, including sticking it to my arse, my back, my chest and just about anywhere I couldn't see it but everyone else could. Funny, funny girl. We eventually fell out of the pub and tottered into the harbour just as the ferry between Rock & Padstow had pulled in and was loading its few passengers. We sprinted (stumbled quite quickly more likely but it felt like sprinting) down the slipway, negotiated a reduced rate with the skipper as we only wanted to do the return trip and settled down to enjoy our one and only boat ride of the weekend. Rock was closed anyway by all accounts so we weren't at all disappointed to go straight back to Padstow. There's something quite eerie but exhilerating about being on a boat at night, especially a small and open one like the water taxi, but it was great fun and even Rollie who by his own admission gets seasick standing near a sink full of water, enjoyed the ride. Back at the harbour, a graceful leap off the front put us back on terra firma and we headed back to the hotel where in recognition of her efforts in organising the weekend I presented Rowena with a beautiful genuine plaster cast statue of some woman that just happened to be sitting on on the hall table.

The next morning despite being a bit tired and not too shiny after the previous night's entertainment we still managed to do justice to a full English and to spend a load of money in the Padstow shops. A few photos then a couple of heartfelt 'So long Padstow's. Back to the car weighed down with our souvenirs of shoes, pictures and pasties, we settled the bill and then set a course for home. We broke the trip up at Exeter once again (seeing the DB9 there was spooky) this time with a very scrummy Rick Stein pasty each. It was a great run back with even the M25 being kind to us. Paul McCartney on the radio and loads more sweets helped maintain our good humour, then home in time for tea.

A brilliant break thanks to our travelling companions. Many thanks to R&R and Elaine. Special mentions though have to be made to Rowena for the idea and organisation, Rollie for getting us there, around and back safely and comfortably, Lynda for most creative recycling of the Eden project entry sticker and Elaine for wetting herself on the journey down - it was only coffee, honest!

17th - 22nd May 2007. Madrid

One of our favourite places to visit is Madrid. The Spanish capital is a vibrant and colourful place, full of history and a city that teems with life especially when the sun shines on it. The main draw for us though is not the culture nor the weather but my brother Frank, his wife Ana and their wonderful kids, Pablo, Sophia, Carla & Andrea. Even if Madrid was an inhospitable dump, which it certainly is not, it would still be worth the visit to spend time with such a fun and welcoming family.

This trip was originally planned for us to help celebrate Sofi's first communion, but it also coincided with Mum's 70th birthday so a quiet few days were never on the cards! Instead the time we were there was spent preparing for Sofi's ceremony and the post event bash, the day itself, the subsequent clearing up exercise and culminated in a family party for Mum before Lynda and me took our leave and came home. All of this was liberally interspersed with a huge amount of fun and cuddles with the whole family, and with Ana's family which descended en-masse on the Saturday and somehow all managed to overnight with us in the same house. The Army would do well to study how so many people could be billeted, entertained, fed and washed in one house.

Mum, Lynda and me arrived at Madrid on the Thursday a bit bleary-eyed after our very early start but in fine humour. Our mood was lifted even further when Frank met us in the arrivals area. It had been the best part of a year since we'd all seen each other in the flesh (Skype doesn't count) so it was great to be welcomed by him at Barajas Airport.

Half an hour later and we were at the deceptively quiet house, the kids being at school and Ana at work. The benefit of that was being able to unpack without having to peel excited children off our luggage first. We couldn't wait to see them and so were delighted when we nipped up to the school at lunchtime and bought the twins (aka twixies) home a bit early. By the evening we'd had a lovely reunion with Sofi, Pablo and Ana and all sat down together for our first of many huge and delicious meals.

Friday morning and the sun was shining. Time to get things prepared for the communion party. A marquis went up, spotlights installed in various trees and most importantly a bar was set up. By the end of the day Ana had run up some table cloths, fairy lights were hung in the marquis, table decorations were assembled, a 'sound system' and CDs organised and the whole scene was pretty much set. Following in his uncle's footsteps, Pablo is now a budding guitarist and was to make his debut accompanying the choir at the communion ceremony in the church. We managed to sit down and run through what he was going to play and fair play to him, Pablo has taken to the guitar with real enthusiasm. I'll be following his progress with great interest. Incidentally he performed splendidly the next day.

The talented Pablo

The next day and the Valencian invasion began. Gradually over a few hours Ana's mum, brother, sisters, their partners and their many young children flocked to the house which was soon a Babel-like fusion of Spanish, English and baby talk. The final touches were applied, the catering fetched (mmmm....catering) suits, dresses and ties donned, car sharing sorted and away we went. It was BLOODY warm, especially in a tie and jacket, even the locals were feeling the heat judging from the amount of fans being wafted in the church. We managed to stay upright though, despite the additional handicap of not having a clue what was going on. The kids looked lovely in their communion outfits, especially Sofi who despite being both nervous and excited managed to sail through the whole thing seemingly thoroughly enjoying herself. A quick photo call afterwards outside the church and then the Dunkirk-like exodus back to the house where the festivities kicked off. Sofi was piled high with some lovely gifts from everyone and we even managed a cake and a chorus of 'Happy Birthday' for Tita.

Later into the evening friends and family gradually drifted off home or to their alloted sleeping space, leaving a few die-hards including the gregarious and English-challenged Max, who didn't allow his less than perfect grasp of our mother tongue prevent him being excellent and very funny company. We were still laughing when we eventually all turned in.

We quickly cleared away the next day and spent the bulk of it having fun with the kids and eating even more spendid food. Ana's incredible roast gammon joint cannot escape praise - possibly the best bit of pork I've ever tasted - made even tastier by eating it al-fresco in splendid company, washed down with a very nice Cava from Frank's excellent cellar. That evening we were treated to the most amazing storm. Thunder, lightning, a huge downpour and the most incredible wind - no change there then. It was enough to lift the marquis from its moorings and to blow a large parasol across the terrace. We quickly shot out to try to make good a few things before the storm really took hold and fortunately managed to limit the damage to a couple of broken umbrella spars, which we patched up the next day.

That amazing Pork - no, not me !

Monday was back to work and school for Ana and the kids, and Frank for a couple of hours. The previous evening's storm had ripped through a large area, lifting roofs and closing roads and tunnels as a result of some pretty serious mud slips. Luckily no-one was hurt, just slightly inconvenienced. Later in the morning we hopped in the car and headed to the shops to stock up for Mum's birthday celebrations that evening. No mean feat when she was actually with us, but some deft diversion tactics meant she'd no idea the trolley was full of birthday cake, balloons and other festive doings. A fine lunch then off to get the kids from school. They were very excited at the thought of Nana's party and were brilliant in helping to get the terrace decorated with banners, balloons, lights and flags while Frank managed to divert the birthday girl. Ana came home and (we still don't know how she does it) cooked a superb dinner while the rest of us danced and laughed on the terrace. When we thought we couldn't eat another thing we suddenly found form and managed to dispose of a birthday cake intended for around 75 people while Mum, sporting a very special 'birthday princess' hat, opened her various presents. It was a lovely, lovely evening and regretably our last for this particular trip.

Up early the next morning and after we'd had big hugs and goodbyes with everyone Frank drove Lynda and I back to the airport. Mum was having an extended stay both in bed that morning and with Frank & Ana for another ten days. We'll be seeing the whole family again soon for our next adventure together, this time in France so the 'goodbyes' were considerably easier than they would otherwise have been. We were still really sorry to be leaving but we had that thought by way of consolation. A quick goodbye with Frank then into the airport.

We took off bang on time, had a perfect flight and got home safe and sound. That coming on top of a great few days with the family made for a perfect break. Thanks to Frank & Ana, Pablo, Sofi, Carla and Andi for their love & hospitality, the lovely presents and all the laughs. Can't wait to see you in France. Thanks too for Mum for her company this trip - enjoy the rest of your stay.

2nd - 4th March 2007. St Cezaire sur Siagne.

3.30 am is not normally a good time for getting up. It's a good time for getting home drunk (unless you have to work the next day) but there has to be a bloody good reason to want to drag out of a warm bed on a cold morning at that time of the night. Fortunately, on this particular Friday morning we had every reason to leap out of bed like Gazelles on an Attenborough nature special; after all it's not every day you fly to the south of France.

However much Lynda and I dislike getting up very early we at least have the "benefit" of years of practice, having been commuters for ten years. Andy & Keli have not, so whatever we were suffering, double it, add on a load, double all of that and you're getting somewhere close to how impressed they were at being snatched prematurely from snoozy land. But they put on a brave face and were as keen as we were to get to St Cezaire, somewhere we'd told them about many times following our great trips there in the past.

We arrived at Nice Airport bang on time and were soon leaving it behind, speeding inland in the hire car. Our first stop was St Paul de Vence for a spot of breakfast - coffee and croissants naturally - and a stroll around the charmingly antiquated streets and passageways. It really is a lovely place, enhanced that day by the warm sunshine. From there we made for Gourdon, perched high above everywhere else for miles around. From previous experience we knew this place is worth a visit for two reasons; it's beautifully ancient look & feel and the fantastic views. However we soon found a third reason to visit - the food. Sadly I never got the name of the restaurant we fell into for lunch (I'll do that on another trip) but it's the closest place to the viewpoint and both the food and the staff were first class. A memorable "first meal of the trip" and the delicious chilled, crisp rose we enjoyed that day became the drink of the whole weekend.

The quaint streets of St Paul de Vence, and the views at Gourdon

From Gourdon we headed to St Cezaire and made ourselves at home. Bryan & Sandra had kindly given us the use of their wonderful French home for the weekend, and soon we were installed and settled. A quick snack that evening - ok, it was another meal - in the St Cezari Pizza restaurant finally finished us off. Bed beckoned. Walking back to the house though, Andy still sharp-eyed despite the gallons of wine we'd had, spotted a very large and quite fresh looking dog turd right in the mouth of Bryan & Sandra's road. Thankfully he pointed this out to us and we avoided sticking a foot in it. I'll shall return to said turd later.

A turd, similar to the one found in St Cezaire

The next morning was once again sunny and warm but still blowing the remnants of a gale that had got up in the night. Not enough though to prevent the market going ahead. We had a good nose round it as always, bought a carrier bag full of fresh fruit then jumped in the car and headed for Cannes for a big walk around the place and a look at the property prices. How hard can it be to choose six bloody numbers.....?!!

"We wish"

We'd promised ourselves a cocktail and a crepe but weren't fussed in which order. Naturally the cocktail came first and again naturally that made us decide to do something silly. This time to go to the Casino across the road to hit the roulette tables. Our cunning plan involved a complex system devised and it must be said, understood only by Andy. Sadly it fell down at the first hurdle when security wouldn't even let us in because we didn't all have our passports. Work that one out! I think they thought Keli looked dodgy in her big sunglasses. What the hell, their loss because I'm sure we would never had won a bean in there.

Posing on the red carpet at the Festival Hall, home of the Cannes Film Festival

After looking at the designer shops and snivelling because we hadn't got our Casino winnings to spend in them we looked for and found comfort in a marvelous crepe. Only a light meal you understand as we were heading that evening to the Chevre D'Or at Cabris. When we got back from Cannes Andy once again made sure we spotted the rogue poo in the road and once again we all avoided stepping in it.

Back to the house, quick wash and brush up, a champagne (rose) toast to our hosts for their hospitality and generosity and we jumped in a cab for Cabris. Fantastic meal again, as always, comme d'habitude, etc. We've now been to the Chevre D'Or a few times and it's never let us down. Nor were we disappointed by the fantastic views from the Chateau at Cabris looking down to Cannes and beyond.

And that's just for starters. Dinner at the wonderful Chevre D'Or, Cabris

Walking back to the house after being dropped off by the taxi, guess who stood right in the now famous dog turd. Correct, the look-out himself, Andy the seeker of the poo stepped right in it. Back home - shoes off for Andy outside Sandra - and a nightcap on the terrace. It was when going to bed though that I treated everyone to a glimpse of my genital sock - Keli still shudders at the thought.

Sunday morning we got up, tidied up and shot off to Nice. Not before I was bollocked by an irate Frenchman who I took to be a St Cezaire car-park attendant, for trying to put rubbish in the bin !! Mind you, in fairness it was a big bag of rubbish and a very little hole in the bin. He gestured wildly to his left and mumbled something about a bigger bin being vaguely in that direction. Well Andy and me couldn't see it so when he'd gone I just stuffed it into another equally small bin round the corner.

We took the scenic route to Nice. Ok when I say scenic I mean we were lost...a bit anyway, the intention had been to avoid the motorway and have a more picturesque trip. It was as it turned out a lovely route though, and equally lovely were the sea, sky and beach when we got there. Had a cruise down the Promenade Des Anglais then for a change decided to go and eat. This time I do remember the restaurant's name and it's just as well because it was top, top stuff - 'Koudou', 28 Promenade Des Anglais. Fantastic food and service in a lovely setting looking out to sea. Not cheap but boy was it worth it. From there it was back to the airport, drop off the car and fly back to a rainy, windswept Luton.

Keli with 'that dessert'. Koudou, Nice

It was a great trip and one that we could easily have endured for a fair bit longer. Once again, great company, great laughs, great food & drink and great location. Thanks to our travelling companions Keli & Andy, and a special thank you to Bryan & Sandra for making it possible. Cheers to everyone.